When you walk into a room and set your eyes on Rosa, you will involuntarily have to look at her a second time. She is not a light-complexioned person, so it’s not about the colour. She’s actually light chocolate in colour, the kind that mesmerizes the eyes. She has this smile that lights up a room and will not allow you take your eyes off her face. A perfect dentition and a beautiful accent completes the look. I used to really envy her. Whenever Rosa meets a new guy, she would say “Ij, I don’t think he will like me, not with my fatness”.
Bella is just an ordinary girl. When you see her, there’s really nothing extraordinary about her except the fact that she is just so ordinary. She’s not someone you will call attractive (I must not use beautiful). She has a beautiful accent but her selling point is her intelligence. Bella is versed about any and every thing. There’s no way you will hold a conversation with her and not be thrilled. The day I put up Bella’s wedding picture as my dp on bbm, someone asked me “how did this wowo babe land such a handsome dude?”
I was watching a video the other day. It is a video by John Legend titled “You and I”, it showed shots of different girls as they try to put on all kinds of make up and other body enhancements in order to look and feel beautiful while he was trying to say that no matter how she looked, he loves her just that way. This got me thinking of how many times I have told myself I do not fit in a particular circle just because I didn’t feel beautiful or pretty enough.
So here come my questions. What exactly is the definition of beauty? Is it about the perfect facial contours or the desired body shape and sizes? Does it have to do with intellect or just words and actions? Or maybe it’s about how cashfully loaded one is. My cousin told me a few years ago that “everyone is beautiful but beauty is in categories. What category do you find yourself?” Other school of thought has it that “beauty is in the eyes of the beholder” but since I cannot determine what criteria the beholder will judge my beauty with, permit me to be my own beholder.
Maybe the likes of Kim K, J Lo, Bey or Agbani Darego are now the standards to compare beauty against. My friend Abum Scott-Udeze would say “the fastest and shortest way to live a frustrated life is to compare yourself with someone else. You will always fall short”.
So here is what I suggest. Learn to be comfortable in your own skin. Fish out what your strongest points are and front them. Maximise on them if that is what will help build your self confidence. Be happy about who you are right now because the truth is, a lot of people wish they were in your shoes and that they had that particular thing you are trying to get rid of.
So sister sister, the next time you stand in front of the mirror, give the image you see there a wide grin and tell her “you are simply beautiful”.
Disclaimer: This post is not to discourage you from doing what you can to improve the aspects of you that you can. It’s to discourage all obsessions about looking the way you think the world wants you to look because in the long run, nobody really cares.