I have always bragged about one thing in life and that is how I worry about little or nothing. The world could be crumbling at my feet and I could just take a leap and get into the next available spot and catch a nap. To an extent, I was close to “insensitive”.
2014 imported a new me. It was just not fair not to worry. What with all the problems in the world, how can you not worry? The birds are not seeing trees to perch on again, the food supply in the world have run short and children were dying of starvation, Boko Haram is killing Nigerians anyhow(I needed to worry about these things since I had taken over from Jesus as the saviour of the world).
I worried that I was too short. It worried me that I was too slim. I worried that I wasn’t beautiful enough. I worried that I might not be intelligent enough. I worried that my parents were getting old. I worried I was getting old. I worried I had not given them grand children. I worried my younger ones may make a mistake. I worried I might ruin a good relationship. I worried a good relationship was too good to be true. I worried about what to say and what not to say, how to say it and who to say it to. Any way the reaction of the receiver would go would be a point of worry to me. If I called you and you didn’t pick up, I worried and gave a very sordid reason as to why you did not. If you call me too much, I will worry and wonder why you did.
If anyone passed my house with a sad look, I will invite him over, ask him what he was worrying about and buy it over. I will worry on his behalf (remember I took over as the saviour of the world). I almost bought a nomination form for the upcoming elections and I wanted to go for the seat of The Chief “Worrier” of the Federation (I’ll sure make a good candidate, wouldn’t even have contenders).
The beautiful thing about this lifestyle was that life left a bland taste in my tongue. Presently, I have a life that 80% of my peers wished they have but it had become frustrating because I even worried the life was not real. I worried too much to even enjoy and appreciate the life I was living. I distanced people who truly cared and held on to people who were for the temporary.
The second fascinating thing was that I did not even make one tiny step or attempt to change any of these things that I worried about (worrying about them was enough charity to the world).
So this year, for the 1st time in my very conscious years, I wrote down no plans. I just took a decision and that is to DARE TO LIVE!!!!
I will love and seek God, love myself, love my neighbours (sorry, it’s in that order. LOL).
I was created for a purpose, that is, to affect the lives of young girls, I will pursue that with my life. I’m not competing with anybody. I’m not going to impress anybody. I’m not going to judge or criticise anybody. I will appreciate those who care and not take them for granted. For those who see no good in me, well, I can’t change their perspective. I will be responsible for my thoughts and actions and I would not bother about what others think and do as long as God is pleased. I will MAKE A CONSCIOUS EFFORT and TAKE MY TIME to love, laugh, touch, smell, feel and live life.
The summation of it all is that GOD’S PRIORITY WILL BE MY PRIORITY.
2015 was beyond my imagination.