We started dating in May and I took him to see my parents in September. Typical mummy couldn’t wait to see him. She’s one of those mothers who has sent my name to Pastors to pray for me because she thinks forces from the village were keeping me from accepting a man’s hand in marriage. Me I don’t know oooo. I’ve been fine, just didn’t want to settle for less. Not after yabbing my friends for the people they settled for? God forbid. The 1st time my friends (even the married ones) set eyes on Dimeji, they were like “Ah, Dami, God saved you, we were waiting to see if the man you will marry will measure up because we would have shown you hell”. I laughed. Ahhhhh!! I am proud of myself.
So, we went to see my parents. Mummy was everywhere.
“Dimeji dear, is there anything you want me to get you? Hope your trip wasn’t so hectic? Hope this daughter of mine is treating you well? I heard your company is one of the biggest in your sector, hope they’re not stressing you out? Hope Damilola has been a nice girl, you know she is a well brought-up girl etc”. If I had my way, I would have pinched but I didn’t so I just shook my head and walked into the room to freshen up. Where’s daddy?” I asked on my way out. “Oh! Your father went to see Toke’s Dad in the hospital. He’s been on admission since Wednesday. He’ll soon be here. Of course, he’s expecting you people”, My mum replied.
“Ok, lemme go and freshen up. Mummy, please don’t tell Dimeji my life history, I beg you, I will do that for myself”, I said, smiling while I strolled away.
Three hours later, dinner was set and Tola and Demola had both returned so we were ready to eat. Tola and Demola are my younger brothers. I have an elder brother,Akinwunmi, and an elder sister, Adebola, both married and building their families. So, I did the introductions and we settled unto our food. Dinner concluded, my parents, I and Dimeji moved to the living area for some more serious talks.
“Oladimeji, you’re welcome to our home”, my dad began. He always has this way of looking at you intently when he wants to talk deeply with you. Whenever he does this, you get this feeling like he’s really searching into your soul and I guess this made Dimeji quite uncomfortable.
“Dami has been saying a lot about you and I must say, I’m happy with what I’m seeing. You are a nice young man and someone I can gladly hand my daughter over to and I trust God to help you take care of her”.
This was all I needed to hear and every other thing went in a blur. “Daddy is happy and proud of who I brought home, what else could I ask for?” , I thought to myself with a smile plastered permanently to my face. Discussions went on as to how himself and his family will come for formal introduction in about 3 weeks and blah blah blah. Looking at my mum’s smile, I didn’t know who was happier, she or me. It looked as if it was she about to be married off, but that’s Mummy for you. After the plans, discussions trailed on to politics and Daddy and Dimeji chatted away like they’ve known all their lives. I was impressed. Bedtime came and we were to retire and Daddy said “Dami, can we talk?” in that voice he uses only when there’s serious concern about something. Ghen Ghen!!!! Hope I’m ready for this. I gave my love a peck on the cheek and said goodnight. I came back to sit on the couch adjacent to where Mummy and Daddy were seated. I noticed the puzzled look on Mummy’s face as she looked at Daddy.
“Daddy, hope there’s no problem?” I asked.
My Dad just looked on to the television in silence, now I was uneasy.
“Why Dimeji?” Daddy asked without looking at me.
“I don’t understand”, I answered
” I just want to know what your convictions are about him. Why do you think he’s the man you want to spend the rest of your life with?” he asked looking into my eyes like he’s searching for something. I looked down at my palm and said “He has the qualities I need in a man. He’s God-fearing, intelligent, hard-working, caring, at least, he can take care of me. What else am I looking for? I love him and he loves me too.”
“You’re sounding all defensive, darling. I’m not trying to haunt you,I’m just making sure you know what you’re doing and that you’re doing this for the right reasons. As for me, I’m not totally settled about him but you know him better than I do so, I wanted to hear more about him from you” Daddy said.
“Honey, what do you mind by not being settled about him? What about him are you not settled about? Please don’t do this. Since I have been praying for this young man to come and now he is here, please try and settle everything you need to settle now”. My mum cut in before I could even say a word. Thank Goodness for her because I was suddenly short of words.
“Honey, I’m just looking out for our daughter, something every parent will do and before you say any other thing, just allow me finish talking to my daughter.” Daddy turned to me and said “Damilola,you know I love you so much and will never pressure you into anything. If at any point in time in this whole thing you think you need to retrace your step, just know that I will be definitely here to hear you out. I wouldn’t……..”
“What are you encouraging this child to do, honey, to break a truce between her and a man? Remember what the Bible said about truce breakers? You want her to think about retracing her steps? Just listen to yourself…..” my mum cut in angrily.
“Will you just calm down and let me talk to this child? You don’t even know what I’m saying….”
“Just go ahead, I’m going to bed. When you finish, you can come along”my said as she walked away leaving me alone with Daddy.
I just sat there with my mouth wide open not knowing what to say or who to say what to.
“Darling, I need you to understand that there’s no pressure of any kind. You do not need to impress anyone or satisfy anybody. Sort this out with your Spirit, make sure you are happy and then let me know what your decision is. I will be ready to accept anything you decide and don’t forget that I love you so much”. I was in tears as Daddy walked away after giving me a peck on the forehead.
Is this really what I want? Should I ignore this tug in my spirit and go ahead with this? Is there something I’m not seeing that these people are seeing?.
I have to go for midweek service now. Will let you know my decision by tomorrow.