Our wedding Came up on 27th of December. Yes, I married him. I had to. I convinced myself beyond every reasonable doubt to do so. Wait!!! Give me one reason why I should not marry him (I’m sure you do not have one). Our wedding was that kind of wedding you have always anticipated. Yes, it was. I am one of those people who had planned out my wedding long before the man even came. Hehehehehe. I didn’t have much unmarried lady friends anymore so my “confetti ladies” were mostly married ladies and they chose their material and style by themselves (now, you can guess what they looked like). My CBM(Chief Brides Maid) or Maid of Honor was the bomb, she was even hotter than me. I am sure she even got more attention than i did. LOL. The only difference between my mum and I was that I was dressed in a white flowing gown while she was dressed in “Iro” and “Buba“. I had my stylist, she had hers. i had my make up artist, she had hers. I think she had her own Bridesmaids (or brideswomen) too. she was sooooo excited and I was happy she was happy. Daddy looked good too and very happy. Oh Sorry. I have never mentioned Dimeji’s family, mind me not. Dimeji is the only child of his parents and his mum adored me. She once secretly told me that I was the only cool headed girl my bobo has brought home (I didn’t know whether to be happy about that or be scared). Dimeji’s mum,Mummy Bankole, looked sweet and happy and seeing her standing next to her husband, Daddy Bankole, just made the reality hit me that this was going to be my new family in the next few hours. Pheeew! I’m not gonna cry now.
Ok, now that i have talked about how every other person looked and it is time to blow my own trumpet. i looked so good that when Dimeji saw me from the Altar where he was standing, his jaw dropped. Don’t worry, I know i am very hot!!! Hehehehe. The happiest part of the wedding ceremony for me was looking into Dimeji’s eyes and saying my vows to him. We didn’t have to repeat vows after the Pastor or read from a book, we said our vows from our heart, the way we wanted it not he normal “for better for worse quote”. It meant a lot to me because at that moment, i understood what it meant to declare these things in the presence of a multitude of witnesses and I did not take it lightly. Every word re-echoed in my head as i said them and then the moment………….I watched with tear strained eyes as he slid that ring into my fourth finger. I wanted that to be replayed like a Champion’s league winning goal-in a veeerrrryyyy slow motion. As far as I was concerned, that ring was the most beautiful I have ever seen and then the “you may kiss the bride” part (was that the first time? *clears throat*).
Every other thing went very fast, the signing of register, the marching out, the reception, gbogbo e, all went through and I had to go give Mummy and Daddy the good bye hugs and then the tears flowed. I was beginning a new life, a life I didn’t know what it would entail but I’ve got Jesus and I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me. Did I tell you that Pastor Toks was the officiating minister? Yes, He was and he did a good job at that. Finally, the almighty wedding day had come and gone and the world has left me alone to my husband. It is our wedding night!
It’s 4 months since the wedding and married life has not really been what I anticipated. As far as my darling husband is concerned, He needs his early morning sleep so I can say my prayers on his behalf. One month after our wedding, he told me he needed his Friday evenings as time out time with his friends(the friends who never come to the house) and i am not supposed to complain, after all, he will be spending Saturdays and Sundays with me. I have been slapped once (Ok, that was because my mouth ran much more than it was supposed to. Of course, I did not tell anyone about that). The rule governing the house is that no member of my family is permitted to come stay in the house, they can visit but they cannot stay because he needs his privacy. I can go and visit my friends in whatever country I choose to but I MUST not entertain them in the house. In as much as we are married, we need to understand that we are separate entities, no prying, no poking, your phone is yours, my phone is mine. We just have to try our best not to get in each other’s way.
These are a few of the concerns I am having and so I want to ask my fellow married ladies out there, “is this what you see in marriage, is it a normal practice or should i be alarmed?” Mind you, I cannot discuss these things outside here, who do I want to talk to? My parents? That’s a no no. I’m not going to get them worried. Pastor Toks once told us during counseling that once we have said the vows, the only thing he owes us is prayers and counseling, so I cannot carry my story to him. My friends? For real? so they would laugh at me? I am just left with you dear stranger. What do I do? How best do I handle this? could there be something that i am doing wrong? can someone tell me what happened to the sweet Oladimeji Babatunde Bankole that I made those heartfelt vows to on December 27th?