Tips on how to deal with Rejection

Osadebe Ijeoma rejection

Have you ever been in a situation where you felt rejected in a relationship either by the man you love or his family? For instance, you are from a different tribe or class from who the family think their son deserves? This could be a very devastating place to be in. It looks like you hate yourself and for a very long time, if you allow it, this may affect the way you open up your heart to the next person, assuming his class or tribe is same as that of the previous man.

I have learnt a few steps to handling rejection that has been of immense help and I want to share them as they could help one or two persons out of such situation. Here are a few things to have in mind while dealing with rejection:

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photo credit: 10wallpaper.com
  1. You are amazing. When you have gone through a situation like this, there is every tendency to think you are not worth anything good (okay, that may be extreme but a bit of your self-confidence seem to have been pecked off). The truth is that nothing changed about how amazing you are. Probably, you compromised some values during the course of the relationship that you may not be proud of (believe me, most of us do), but that does not make you devalued. You only need to pick yourself up and build back your values. The rejection does not make you less of who you are; you are still beautiful, kind, gentle, compassionate, etc. and these values are needed in our world. Don’t hold them back because…
  2. …The person(s) who rejected you are limited to their perceived knowledge of you. I will use an example of someone who was rejected based on tribe. If an Ibo mother has a mindset that Yoruba ladies are promiscuous (this is just an example o), when her son Emeka comes to tell her that he is in love with Laide and wants to marry her, his mother says “over my dead body will you marry a Yoruba girl”. Now, hating on Emeka’s mother will do you no good because in reality, she does not know how nice Laide is and how much peace of mind Laide will bring Emeka. She does not know that Laide is not promiscuous. So the best thing to do for yourself is…
  3. …Forgive those who rejected you. Because their knowledge of you is limited, it’s not their fault they rejected you; it’s probably their loss. If they had known you, they would not have rejected you. You need to also bear in mind that…
  4. …Preferences differ. When I go to Coldstone to take Ice cream, one flavor you will most likely find in my cup is white chocolate. One of the last flavors you will see in my cup (probably not ever see) is the Baileys flavor but I know someone who will almost always have that. Does it make Baileys a bad flavor? No. Does it make White Chocolate the best flavor? No. It’s just preference and there is probably nothing we can do about that. So, his flavor is Tope and not Tosin, all you need to do is…
  5. …Move on. This is one of the hardest part in the whole process. If you are someone who puts your all in a relationship, it would be hard to just get up and get moving; the truth is, I wish there was an easier way to say it, but you just have to MOVE ON! You owe that to yourself, your friends, your family and the Universe as a whole. Take your time to cry the necessary tears, mourn your loss if need be, grieve, if necessary and then…
  6. …Get a positive outlook in life. Sweetheart, there will surely be better opportunities out there. There’s a guy who cannot do without you because you are a Baileys flavor. There is someone who will accept you just as you are and you will build a beautiful life together. It all depends on your mindset and outlook in life. You can take affirmations like this:

 

 

I LOVE MYSELF AND EVERYBODY ELSE AND IN RETURN, EVERYBODY LOVES ME

 

I MANIFEST LOVE IN ALL THAT I DO AND I ATTRACT WHAT I GIVE OUT

 

THE PARTNER I SEEK IS ALSO SEEKING ME. WE ARE BROUGHT TOGETHER NOW THROUGH INFINITE LOVE, TO THE SATISFACTION OF ALL

These are just a few examples. You can research on some of these affirmations if you do not find it easy to come up with positive thoughts and quotes.

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photo credit: transforminglifenow.wordpress.com

All things are possible to (s)he that believes.

Comments

  1. tobynwazor

    Hi Ijeoma,

    I love the analogy you gave with ice cream flavours. Preferences differ. We just have to accept it and like you said, move on.

    This is a great step. Kudos. I like ur blog

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