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where went my happiness
Where went my happiness


I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition.

Martha Washington


I went through a very rough phase in my love life. I used to boast to anyone who cared to listen of how easily I could be unattached or detached to a guy. I used to say that once a guy gave me any form of emotional hassles, I would just take a walk without batting an eyelid and I did in some occasions until my emotion got me hooked in. I got to love someone who I became very emotionally attached to, though I did not admit it at the time, but got to know when our relationship hit the high waters and it became quite turbulent. I remember telling myself after my birthday then that it was the end of the relationship because I felt I was treated terribly. How can I have my birthday and my boyfriend could not even send a cake and then made up an excuse at the end of the day for that. I cried myself to sleep but still did not end the relationship. In fact, we dragged ourselves till the next year, in January, when we decided it was time to help ourselves and just go our separate ways.


That January, I did not have any resolution but I made a promise to myself that I was going to live that year happy. I think 2015 was the best year for me that I could remember, that is before 2016 (maybe there was a better year when I was a lot younger that I cannot remember now). The kind of life I lived in 2015 was what made me decide to write this book.


Were there times, I cried in 2015? Yes. In fact, I almost lost my job. There was no boyfriend or fiancé so there was no wedding date in sight. More people were asking my mother when they would be invited for my traditional marriage and many more people were dropping hints for me about that too. So, in reality, nothing much changed about my situation in 2015. So what changed?

My disposition to life was what changed. I decided to be happy. I wrote on my BBM that my 2015 birthday was going to be one of my happiest and it sure was. No, no boyfriend bought me cake and nobody took me out that day (because I closed late from work) but I ended it in tears. I remember kneeling down that evening in tears and my younger sister was wondering what was wrong with me and I told her I was amazed by all the love and care and warmth I got from people that day. My boss bought cake and my colleagues were struggling to take pictures with me. It meant so much to me and that was because I shut my eyes against the negatives and focused only on the positives.


So I encourage you today to take that decision to be happy, no matter what. You may not be able to control everything that happens to you and how they happen but you can choose to control how you see them. I am still teaching myself a lot on this happiness journey and it keeps getting better and better every day. Give it a try.

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